Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Can you feel their feeling when you touch their hand?

Have you ever forget of something that you own and it is very important to your life? It's almost part of you that you wish to unwish its existence and never let anyone know..

Have you ever touch someone else hands, and your heart can only feel pain. As if you can feel their soul ripping apart or their heart is breaking slowly.. and they are in pain, although there is a smile picture in front of their face. When you ask, they will say no. but then after that, you will see them crying alone. When you didn't ask, you feel terrible.. Its not a power, its not magic, and its not also a gift. I called it as 'SECRET'.

I myself, encounter many things in life. Sure I am young, but life and fate never choose its victim. I feel in pain, I feel this life is hard and I feel its going to engulf me slowly as time passes by. Secret making my life more difficult to handle.. How can you handle two sadness in once? Yours already that bad and now you have to feel another people feeling? Its too much.. When I was still 10-16 years old. I only know how to cry, feeling sympathy of that person. I'll cry the whole day in my room.. its natural reflex. Its too sad, too painful. Its like hard for you to breath and you are gasping for air. There's large stone stuck on your throat and difficult for you to remove it. Are you just like me?

Other people said it is a blessing well I said its a burden. As time passes, I change my attitude toward this thing and try to ignore and forget its existence. I nearly done that, but then.... When I feel someone, their sadness. I ignore. I act like nothing happens and just leave them. When I saw they are crying, i leave them. I wont say anything and give excuses to myself like ' argh.. they need time alone.' or 'better not disturb them, its better for them to let it all out'. even though i know other side of me wanting to give them a big hug and be beside of them. I just can't.. Recently, this thing comes back.. I can feel it around me and I dont like it. I though it already leave me..

So, now I want ask the visitor of this page. Are you just like me? I wonder how many millions people out there can do the same thing like i do or more than what can i do..

Once, There's this old man. He was smiling and we shake hand. Suddenly, something strike me like a lightning. This is not a joke. Some maybe found out that this kind of thing is lame and maybe not true but i dont care. I can feel what he feel. Its like a short chapter of his life come out. None of his children visit him often. and his wife is not with him.. I was wandering that time why is that. then I let go my hand. Feel bad for not doing anything.. I just let it go. After that day, i didn't see the old man anymore. 5 years later, I saw him again and this time with 2 beautiful young lady. They were escorting the old man. Then they told the real story about him. He lived with his wife but the wife is controlling him too much. they had a fight which not allowing that old man to go out to church anymore. and his children are too busy to come and visit plus their children doesnt really like their mother.. too strict or something like that. then i remember back what happened before..

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